Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Organizing my life.

For the first time since early college, I have a phone book. I also have a birthday and anniversary book. I will finally send you cards, all of you.

This being said, I have not kept track of birthdays, and never of anniversaries (not even my own), since early college. That would be 1996. You might want to remind me. Gently.

If I have never called you, it may also mean that I don't know your phone number.

If you haven't gotten a Christmas card, I probably don't know your address.

Eleven years later, I re-enter the adult world.

I am surprised any of you speak to me.

Warning: Cell Phone Stalking

I recently discovered that I married a stalker. His name is Adam, you may know him.

I received a bluetooth head piece for Christmas, and it is wonderful. I can call someone with one push of a button. My cell phone never has to leave my purse. I always hear the phone ring.

The honeymoon ended though. I had talked to Adam about some random thing while at Sam's Club. We had said our goodbyes as I approached the check out stand. My headpiece automatically disconnects the call when the caller hangs up.

I continued through the line. Made small talk with the cashier, I'm sure. Got a drink at the concession stand, and walked toward the door. If you are familiar with Sam's, you know that this is a lengthy process.

Then Adam starts talking. He never hung up. He just wanted to listen. So he says.

My cell phone bill was more than double this month. How many times did Adam "just listen" I ask? I think this is more than coincidental.

If you speak to Adam, make sure you hang up on him.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

When vegetables go bad...

I ate six points worth of lima beans today.

Lima beans.

Why would a vegetable be so bad for you?

I could have had the ice cream.

Six!

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Classroom Pet

My juniors decided that talking about the death and decay of the Gothic period of literature deserved a good send off. They brought in a cooked crawfish that had sat in someone's locker for three weeks and hung it in the room. They explained that it had achieved a high level of death and decay.

At least they learned something.

We named it Edgar Allen Lobster.

Monday, January 8, 2007

Life Lessons Learned...

As I sit here and eat all of my daily servings of vegetables at once, I realize that there are differences between frozen broccoli varieties.

I am eating what I thought was the regular. It said broccoli. That translates in the world of broccoli into 3/4 pound broccoli stems and 1/4 pound broccoli.

I just bit into something that was a bit woody. Maybe that ratio should decline a bit.

I now know what it means by "Broccoli Floret."

I don't discriminate against the stem, but I really wanted to eat some broccoli today.

Not joking. Ate very little broccoli out of this bag.

I just recently learned how to spell broccoli correctly. Can you tell by my incessant repetition of it?

Jane and Angela will appreciate this next one. I have gotten so good at shopping for Weight Watchers, that I have 15 points left to eat today. Dinner is over. I have eaten three solid meals today. I might be too good at this. All of my snacks are 1 and 2 points. I cannot eat that much. I could eat three pop tarts.

That just makes me ill.

Adam is mentioned in a national religious blog

Okay, so it doesn't get as much readership as the DrudgeReport and the like, but it IS a thoughtfully- constructed, multi-faith web magazine run by Detroit Free Press columnist David Crumm and religious scholars at some of the nation's finest universities. Now my part in this story is small (VERY SMALL), but I AM mentioned in the story. I am the "Henry Ford Community College instructor" who helped change the minds of the writers regarding religious messages in seemingly "unintelligent" movies.

http://www.spiritscholars.org/my_weblog/2007/01/readers_tell_us.html

My comment is at the bottom of the original story found here:
http://www.spiritscholars.org/my_weblog/2007/01/stumbling_into_.html

After you look at the story, you should take some time to navigate around the web magazine. It is a pretty level-headed discussion of religion's impact in today's society. David Crumm is a professional contact of mine and I find his insight on religion to be refreshing, although the article I commented on was a little short-sighted in its analysis of popular American film.

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Poison Vera

So....Vera had a great day in school today. She is fine (in a completely different wing of the school), but here is the story if you'd like to check it out:

http://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?section=local&id=4905126